Week 2 - Break downs, Breakthroughs and Bliss

Week 2 is over and so much has happened that my head is spinning. Our little group has grown even closer and the other evening we sat in Satsang without the teachers and shared our thoughts. It's such a healing experience for many of us to be surrounded by people who accept us exactly as we are.

This week the training has picked up its pace. We finished the standing series and have just started with the seated series. The daily routine is the same - getting up early, yoga, breakfast, 2 hours super hard dialogue study (+ practicing on any free and available teacher trainee), then practice teaching where we get feedback on how our dialogue goes, lunch break followed by a posture clinic to the next asana, more studying, 2nd yoga and dinner, good night (more studying).

People are starting to get all sorts of aches and pains not to mention some emotional or physical break downs that are usually followed by some very insightful breakthroughs. Yoga really works on the body, mind and soul. All the experiences that we've stored into our body start to surface. This process goes into very deep and it can be tiring but sure is worth it.

The other day in evening yoga John suddenly called somebody's name to give the dialogue for the first pose. After that there were very nervous 24 yogis and yoginis in the room waiting for their turn. He totally blindsighted all of us! Some of us are already very much in teacher mode and actually enjoy the teaching while some of us look for secret exits from the studio. I had to do Standing Bow and after doing it I felt such a loser that never in my life before. I actually had some sort of emotional meltdown and felt that if this is what it's going to be - I'm never ever going to make it. My voice projection was totally off, it felt as if I was screaming like a mouse on Speed. I was shaking so hard that it was as if somebody had just shot tons of adrenalin through my veins (as the case probably was.) I have so much respect for every single hot yoga teacher in the world. Their job is not an easy one! I bow to you all.

After beating myself for the evening and then talking with some truly amazing people I got it out of my system. For the next day's yoga I had to deliver Akward 1,2,3 and although I probably missed lines I felt so much better since I didn't feel like I was having a nervous breakdown - I think I'm starting to understand more about what John is saying: It's not about YOU it's about YOGA.

That is so very true. The students really don't care about how the teacher looks, feels and so on - they just want to come in and concentrate on their yoga practice and to be helped in it the best possible way. Teachers need to take care of the students and get them safely in and out of a posture so that they can do their Yoga. That's quite a humbling thought.

What it comes to myself I'm physically coping quite well. Many of us feel extreme tiredness which is very understandable but for me some reason I just seem to get healthier by the day. It's very easy to get up at 6 am (which is a miracle for those who know me) and even my muscles aren't aching that much.

But as I said, we're being spoiled here. All the tedious every day tasks have been removed from our lives. Our beautiful studio is just a few steps away from our rooms, everything is super clean all the time, the food is good. After yoga one doesn't have to have artificial electrolytes but instead have a fresh young coconut in the juice bar. And when the muscles start to get knotty - it's time for a massage. Today is the day off and I went to the beach in the morning to first have a 90 min open air oil massage followed by a 60 minute reflexology foot massage. Total bliss!

This week Lucas came to teach us some Kriya (cleansing) techniques and it was super interesting. I must say that he is a phenomenal teacher. So clear and to the point that it is quite amazing. I noticed that a Yoga Trapeze has miraculously appeared in the gazebo so I'm very much looking forward to learn more about that!

The teachers here are so nice, we love them all to bits. They really work so hard to make it easier for us. Before practice teaching Harreson puts on some nice music and we dance and relax for a few minutes before our dialogue. John's thoughts about yoga are always so interesting that you want to just listen and learn. Jeanne has a wonderful talent of explaining very complex things in a very clear and easily understandable way. It's a good skill since all of us come from very different backgrounds and many of us aren't native english speakers so we have to study a bit harder to keep up with others. Pim is a true gem, she has already helped me and others with super good tips on how to improve our asanas or correct misalignments and so on. She is also a natural comedienne, in yesterday's evening class when we all had to deliver a pose, she suddenly did a headstand when Kristen was giving her Separate leg stretch. Talking about extra pressure. It was hilarious but Kristen recovered very quickly and said for those of you don't have their feet in the air please proceed to..It was super funny!

So that's it for this week. Some breakdowns, lots of breakthroughs - all underlined by a blissful feeling :)

Now I need to go and study my next dialogue.
Thank you all for reading.